Skip to Main Content

The Twice-Exceptional Young Adult: A Mother’s Viewpoint on the Transition Process‬ ‭

August 29, 2024 - 5 minute read


‬ Six years ago, I wrote on Perfecting the Practice about my family’s experience in K-12 with my‬ Twice-Exceptional son‬‭. During the intervening years,‬‭ he attended college, struggled to find‬ meaningful work and purpose in life, and started to find his way toward reaching his life’s‭ dreams. Back then, I posed this question: How can you convince the schools that your child‬ needs help when they are so accelerated in the things that the schools seem to care most‬ about? That question can now be updated to this: How do you convince society to give your‬ Twice-Exceptional (2E) young adult a chance when they are capable but quirky?‬ ‭

College, COVID and Beyond

My son started college in Fall 2017, then transferred to a larger university in Fall 2019 to pursue‬ his dream major. He excelled academically with the support of Disability Access Services (DAS)‬ at both institutions (it’s amazing what an audio recording pen and special notebooks can do!),‬ but he struggled socially despite joining clubs related to his major and outside interests his‬ social asynchrony was still too wide for him to be accepted by many peers. His feelings of‬ loneliness grew. How could an Autistic young man ever fit into society in general if he was not‬ accepted where he was surrounded by other scientists, mathematicians, and nerds? (By the‬ way, he prefers condition-first language, so I use it sometimes instead of person-first language.)‬

‬Then in March 2020, the entire world shut down. While my son did very well switching to online‬ learning (despite being in a major that required numerous labs), like so many others, his anxiety‬ increased, as did his social isolation.‬‭ He graduated‬‭ from college in June 2021, then applied to‬ graduate school - he even visited his first choice university - but despite having excellent grades‬ from a top university in the program’s preferred major, he was not accepted. He applied for numerous jobs - tutoring (science and math being high demand subjects), working at retail‬ stores - but no one hired him. He wondered if the rejections were because he was honest in his‬ applications about being Autistic and because of the quirks that are evident when he interviews.

We have always taught him that Autism is part of who he is and nothing to be ashamed of, but‬ he was starting to doubt that society would give him a chance. He didn’t want to be a statistic - I‬ cannot find an actual study reference, but most sites state that 65-90% of adults on the‬ Spectrum (even those with college degrees) are unemployed or underemployed - but that is‬ exactly what he was becoming. And his Neurotypical brother - his best friend and defender was attending college on the East Coast. My 2E’s confidence and mood were very low.‬

Finally, Helpful Transition Support and a Dream Come True‬

‬Early in 2023, to give our son something positive to focus on - something that he could control we helped him start a website and YouTube channel relating to experiences at theme parks‬ from his perspective as an Autistic adult. Theme parks are his lifelong passion - the history,‬ overall design, ride and audio animatronic engineering, everything. We told him not to pay‬ attention to numbers - followers, likes, views - and definitely not to negative comments, but to‬ just be his authentic self and put up content that he thought was important to him. This new‬ project seemed to pull him out of his funk - it definitely gave him back some energy.‬ ‭

Then, my husband saw that a local French cafe needed help. Our son speaks French, and they‬ were willing to give him a chance. He usually worked one shift a week. It was a start, but‬ definitely underemployment and not in his college degree field. My husband also contacted a‬ friend who now works for Goodwill OC. Through her, our son was introduced to various groups‬ who help adults with disabilities find employment. He was asked to speak at their meetings‬ about his experiences trying to get work. He was the MC at a university’s disability summit with‬ over 700 attendees - talk about a confidence booster. He was also referred to the Regional‬ Center, and he finally got his official diagnosis of Autism at 25 years old.‬ ‭

The speaking engagements and cafe work gave our son the courage to apply to the Disney‬ College Program (DCP), because he felt like he had nothing to lose, and the interview would be‬ good practice. Guess what? This kid who has always been “early to bed,” who hated change‬ and desperately needed a consistent routine, has just completed 6 months of living‬ independently and working long shifts at various times of day while 3000 miles from home.‬ When I mentioned this to him the other day, he replied matter of factly, “I adapted, Mom.” Wow something we truly never thought would be possible. He even chose to extend his DCP time to‬ a full year. He has never sounded so consistently positive for so long. Sure, there are rough‬ days with difficult guests, and he misses us (especially our dogs). However, overall he loves his‬ current life and what it might mean for his future. He is talking to the company’s recruiters about‬ becoming a full-time employee after the DCP ends - this would be his dream fulfilled. He finally‬ has hope that someone might accept him for who he is - an intelligent, quirky, passionate theme‬ park enthusiast with a unique perspective who just wants to make people happy. It is a blessing to observe his growth.‬

‬So what’s the takeaway from all of this? Even when life seems impossible or bleak, listen to‬ Walt Disney’s words: “Keep moving forward.” That has been our family’s motto for years, and it‬ is really paying off with a quality life for our 2E son. Yes, your family member, friend, or student‬ may not do the same types of things as my son, but it is possible for them to do what they want‬ in some capacity. There are resources in our community that can help their dreams come true we just need to keep searching until we find the right path and be open to the alternatives that‬ present themselves. What do you have to lose?‬

‬Tips for 2E Life Transition‬

  • Communicate hope! There is always another day to try something else.‬
  • ‬‭ Keep moving forward! No experience is wasted. Working at a cafe gives you practice in‬ social situations and a chance to prove yourself as an employee.‬ ‭
  • Look for alternative paths. You never know when a chance encounter will turn into an‬ opportunity.‬
  • Hobbies and passions can become career opportunities.‬

‬Dr. Rebecca Stanton has been teaching in the School of Education at Concordia‬ University Irvine since 2005, specializing in secondary methods and classroom‬ management. She is the Senior Director of Teacher Credential Programs and‬ Co-Director of Undergraduate Teacher Education Programs. Her sons’ special needs‬ inspired her interest in how the brain learns and how to set up positive, inclusive‬learning environments. Her current research is on best practices in Study Abroad.‬ Prior to coming to Concordia University Irvine, Dr. Stanton taught high school German‬ and beginning drama, as well as junior high math and science. If you want to see her‬ son’s website, check out‬‭ https://cadadventdiary.com/‬‭ for his videos and blogs.‬

Back to top